{Hello to all my readers. This post was written by a very talented fellow blogger, Natalie. I know that I have readers out there that will really enjoy this very insightful post. Happy reading :)}
Let’s talk about sexism.
It sounds simple: there are boys and there are girls, and everyone should be treated equally. Telling women they should have children instead of work? Sexist. Telling men they shouldn’t show emotion or cry – ever? Also sexist. And pressuring girls to wear pink and boys to wear blue? See previous statements.
No one wants to admit that they might be sexist, but maybe we, as a society, need to talk about. I confess – I’m a recovering sexist.

If I had to summarize my personality in one word, I’d choose “tomboy.” In high school, I played competitive tennis. In college, I bought a motorcycle. No one taught me how to apply make-up, and pink, sparkly clothes aren’t my thing. That was my style, and everyone told me that was A-Okay.
And it was. What they forgot to mention, though, was that being a tomboy didn’t make me better than other girls.
Growing up, I categorized women into two groups: the delicate, feminine Sleeping Beauty and the no-holds-barred Fast and Furious Letty. Cool girls could handle any situation – car chases, gunfights, kicking bad guy butt – while the girly ones couldn’t deal with a hangnail (or the prick of a spinning wheel). In comparing the two to each other and also to myself, I couldn’t figure out why any girl would allow herself to fall into that ultra-feminine category. Sitting around all day, playing with hairdos and make-up, waiting for some prince? Lame. I’d rather play tennis instead, and do something with my life.
I looked down on girly-girls for years, thinking them weak and shallow and useless. I held my nose high because I “did” things with my life: I played sports, earned good grades, aspired to write, played video games, worked out… Girly-girls, too busy avoiding hangnails, couldn’t understand.
And then I learned ballroom dance.
Ballroom dance’s inherent male lead initially fit that old-fashioned gender role I despised, but as my steps became more confident, I noticed a blending of these two types of women: each new move required precision, technique, and a whole lot of practice — all very reminiscent of my days as an athlete.
But wait, hang on. Sleeping Beauty’s tiny cut immobilized her; how could girly girls handle muscle aches or foot pain after a grueling practice session? Stubbornness and a little elbow grease were Letty’s department. I was confused. My extreme presumptions about female dancers’ femininity didn’t reconcile with reality.
For the first time, I saw a shade of gray between girly-girls and tomboys.

This wasn’t something I learned in school. No one told me I had developed some sort of superiority complex; having a masculine personality didn’t make me better than girls with super-feminine interests, just as a man isn’t intrinsically worth more than a woman. I was blinded by my personal sexism. My new awareness of the shades of gray between these two opposing images of women revolutionized how I saw other girls — and myself.
Imagining an alternate universe where I refused to dance conjures up the image of a girl applying stereotypes to herself: you’re either girly or a tomboy, with no in-between.
Thank goodness our world isn’t as rigid and simplistic as the one I imposed on myself.
Woohoo! The post looks great 🙂 Thanks again for the opportunity to work together and write a guest post!
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Reblogged this on But Why? and commented:
Good news, everyone! It’s my very first guest post 🙂 Check it out below!
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Great post. I found it very witty, and funny. Now, I am also a recovering Sexist!
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Thank you! And best of luck on your recovery 😉
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Nice one Nat. Very insightful indeed 😉
It’s pretty common for us humans to judge others and forget that we aren’t perfect too. Who can blame us though? Humans in general tend to LOVE themselves more than others lol! Don’t believe me? Ask anyone this- Whenever they look into the mirror, do they check themselves out? Not surprisingly, most do! Why? Because we want to present our best self to the world. The part of us that we love! (Notice how photos taken via selfies are very different from the usual shots taken by other people? Selfies are literally a “Mirror shot”!)
Considering how much we enjoy in passing our oh-so-important critic and judgement upon others, it sometimes baffles me that even though we know it can hurt someone, we still do it anyway!
All for the sake of feeding our ego.
Too much of it- We’d get full of ourselves. Too little- We’d start to wonder if we are worth anything in the eyes of other people.
Such an elusive problem but such huge impact! An article like this can definitely bring about awareness so kudos to you for writing it and Bike Girl for sharing too 😉
Your pal,
Benjamin
http://www.projectbiy.com
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For sure, we humans spend a lot of time judging each other. You’re very right! And thank YOU for reading! 🙂
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Thanks for reading Benjamin!!!
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When there’s great content, I will be there- When I have the time to scout around hah!
Keep the spirit up y’all 😉
Your pal,
Benjamin
http://www.projectbiy.com
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“Thank goodness our world isn’t as rigid and simplistic as the one I imposed on myself.”
Hear, hear! Great line that rings so embarrassingly true with my narrow-minded sexist past self!
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Glad to hear you’ve worked through those sexism issues — it’s a tough thing to overcome!
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Great post, Natalie! Growing up, my Mom always said that I wasn’t liberated as a woman but as a person – she was ahead of her time and it allowed me to be me without all the sexist labels. I’m smiling as I write this, it makes me feel thankful, thanks for sharing!
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Thanks so much for reading Natalie’s post. Very happy that you are on such a great path 🙂
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Thank you both for helping to light the way!
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Sounds like you had an awesome mom 🙂 Thanks so much for commenting!
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My Mom will be thrilled to hear this! Thanks so much!
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In some cases it’s a good thing to belong to the “grey zone”… Love this post!
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Most definitely! 🙂 Thanks for commenting!
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Honest and thoughtful. No one is superior to the other. Man or woman, black or white….we got the same human characteristics. In fact, everyone is unique.
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You’re right — we’re all human 🙂 Thank you!
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Great post! Sexism is a learned behaviour, we are not born with those prejudices or even an understanding of gender-determined roles. Good news is that since it’s externally acquired, it can be unlearned with a conscious effort. Just like you did and I am glad you shared this story with us.
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Unlearning a prejudice such as this was difficult, but the positive changes it has made in my life since were absolutely worth it. Thanks for stopping by! 🙂
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WOW – thanks for including this on your picks of the week!!! I notified Natalie who was the author.
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Woohoo! Thanks so much for the honor 🙂 Rock on!
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Great post! I definitely agree with this! The whole shades of grey thing as it applies to sexism was such a clever way to put it because it is so accurate. Thanks for sharing!
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